Tag Archives: patanjali

Fear effects our thinking, actions and relationships

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There are times when we must endure life-threatening situaitons and fear is a part of our mechanism for survival. There are also times when something in our life feels threatened, and this, too, can arouse fear and the host of symptoms that go along with it. When fear is operating at the lower levels of the spectrum and the symptoms are more subtle, we may not even be aware of the effect it is having on our thinking, actions, and relationships. But it is. Fear is powerful.

There was the time when my manager thought we should change my class schedule and drop one class. I freaked out. I couldn’t even consider the proposal. I started to worry that I was less popular than the other teachers and no one would come to class ever again and how would I make up the income… I put all my energy into fighting to keep things the way they were. I couldn’t see it any other way.

Since the election, the same thing’s been happening. I’m freaked out, and I keep feeding this fear with news, news, conversations about the news, and more news. It has been obsessive and I’ve been distracted by it. I must also be uncharacteristically short tempered because last week my girls both asked me if I was mad at them. This made me stop and think about my tone of voice and my lack of patience. I pulled them in close and apologized and told them a little bit about what was going on (none of it is their fault). Then I turned off my NYTimes alerts on my phone and started to wean myself off of talk radio.

The yoga sūtras give us a list of five ways that we can incorrectly perceive something, the kleśas (YS II.3-8). Patañjali says there is a general misperceiving, avidyā, we mis-identify, asmitā, we let our likes or preferences decide for us, raga, or we let our dislikes to determine what we do or don’t do, dveṣa. The last one in the list is abhiniveśā, or fear. Patañjali describes this version of misperceiving by saying that when we experience it, it’s like it mounts us and tells us where to go. The rider is directing our action and behavior. The rider is fear and our body, system, mind, responses… those are the horse. (YS II.9)

And that’s totally how it is. That’s what this obsessive behavior feels like. Part of me is watching while I read another alarming article and it’s like the watcher has almost no power to stop the doer from doing it. Something else is in charge. The fear.

So what do we do about it? Patañjali offers two very useful suggestions:

  1. If you see a kleśa, take action! Do something to oppose the symptoms when they are small and make some effort to come back into balance (II.11). This might be yoga practice, taking a walk in nature, disconnecting from devices and connecting to a person you love, or taking care of something – your garden, your pet, your house, someone in need.
  1. Meditate on something that is appropriate (II.12). When you give your full attention to something, as with meditation, your whole system benefits. The appropriate thing might be something that helps you feel connected, safe, or loved. It might be something that gives you hope. If you have a prayer practice or a connection to higher power, this can be very helpful.

I’ve finally had some breakthroughs with my most recent fear. I’m starting to notice a cycle and a process that I go through when something seems new and threatening and that cycle takes time. Neither of the solutions above are instant fixes. They are ongoing and helpful practices. As I start to feel a little less afraid, the concerns haven’t gone away, but the fear-based responses have less of a grip. I imagine they aren’t gone for good, but I find it so helpful to remember and connect with these teachings from the sūtras. I hope you do, too.

Feeling nervous isn’t glamorous

This is "Rascal." The photo comes from ODEE's article on ugly dogs.

This is “Rascal.” The photo comes from ODEE’s article on ugly dogs.

I was about to get into my car on the way to an interview this week and I was excited and nervous. I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be calm and collected. I aspired to radiate peace, clear communication, and just the right amount of confidence. Even though I may experience some version of this at other times, it wasn’t happening in this crucial moment and I couldn’t will it to be so. I knew this because there was an uncontrollable quivering that originated from deep inside my body. I was trembling. When this happens I feel like one of those little shivering dogs with too little fur or a nervous constitution.

I left my coat on, cranked up the heat in my car and then did my best to drive more slowly than I wanted to. I attempted to breathe in a relaxed way. I went over the reasons that I looked forward to the meeting and how I’d like it to go down. After the twenty minutes it took to arrive, the shivering had mostly subsided and my level of ease improved. I decided to ignore the sweat rings in the armpits of my blouse.

Aṅgamejayatva describes one of the five symptoms that help us to recognize when we are out of balance (YS I.31).   And get this… aṅga = parts, and mejayatva = “are trembling.” I’ve heard aṅgamejayatva described as an inability to be comfortable in a posture or being ill at ease in the body, but then I had this literal trembling thing happen and once again, I had to nod to our sage, Patañjali, for nailing it. Yes, I was experiencing emotional distress, duḥkha, there may have been some negative thinking, daurmanasya, breathing was agitated, śvāsa praśvāsā, my body trembled, and I experienced some agitation and lack of focus, vikṣepasahabhuvaḥ. Patanjali’s symptoms of distress? Check. Check checkity. Check. Luckily the sutras also offer ways to manage these symptoms.  I’m glad I’ve practiced ways to take care of myself when these are present.

The interview went well. It was actually pretty fun and I think really good things will come of it. I don’t know that I’ll ever totally outgrow the nervous-excitement trembling condition I have, but maybe I’ll get to the point where I can come back to balance and without sweating so profusely in the process.

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Save the date

Women’s RETREAT: August 31st to Sept 5th, 2016

Join me for 5 days in beautiful Ojai, CA, where you can replenish and reset with three master teachers as your guides.  You’ll have time to steep in the wisdom of yoga, ayurveda and well-being while enjoying the beautiful accommodations and the surrounding Ojai valley.

More info to come!

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